8 Responses

1. Grammar

   Hi Tavisa

   I’m new too, so this is my first reply!  I think the feedback on your grammar  in one sentence is probably a red herring – but to answer your query, I think ‘wait upon’ is ok, but wait up on’ isn’t. My opinion is that the sentence, (and so possibly the rest of the letter) doesn’t flow very easily, so may not sell you very well. I personally wouldn’t say ‘I hope you think …is worthy’ because you’re giving them the option of thinking it might not be!

   Very few companies are going to discount a candidate on one dubious grammatical error. If you’ve just finished an MBA, there will be  a careers service at the uni who can help you. I suggest that ask them to look over your CV and covering letter and get some feedback from them.

   Hope this helps!

    — Julie Cooper TSM Partnership

2. Thanks

   Hi Julie,

   Thanks for replying..

   Takecare!

    

3. terminology perhaps, rather than grammar?

   Hi Tavisa

   Welcome to the wonderful world of TrainingZone!

   It may be that they are telling you that the term is technically inaccurate….normally in idiomatic English the phrase "I will be glad to wait upon you" would only really be said by a waiter or waitress to a diner in a restaurant, whereas what (I presume) you meant to say was "wait for your reply".

   Your phraseology perhaps would be better as "I look forward to hearing from you" simply because this is a more active phrase (you are actively looking forward as opposed to passively waiting)

   The phrase that you hope they think "this application worthy of notice" probably comes over both as old fashioned (the word "worthy") and very lacking in self confidence (you are only hoping that they will notice your application, not even that they will consider it good!). 

   Sorry if this seems a bit negative but as an MBA holder you need to be presenting an image of confidence as well as competence, for example "I look forward to hearing from you shortly and trust that this application contains all the information you need."

   Good Luck

    

   Rus Slater

   http://www.coach-and-courses.com

4. Thanks!

   Hi Rus Slater

   Thanks for your help, i’ll keep the points you mentioned in your answer in my mind. It will be of great use. 

   Thanks a lot!

   Regards!

5. Wait a moment

   Tavisa

   Welcome. I think the employer should be flattered. To ‘wait upon’ is to pay homage. You ‘wait on’ tables. And you ‘wait for’ a reply. They may be surprised that someone of your education has made such a technical error – there are still many folk who get obsessed by such points – but in the scheme of things I would have thought there would be more of substance they should be thinking about. Like it or not, in today’s society there are some very able people who make smelling mistakes, miss the occasional out and even repeat puns quite by chants.

   Such is life

   Graham

6. Get a friend to check it

    

   Am I right in thinking your first language is not English?  I say that because the way you phrase your query sounds very (overly?) formal and this is typical in a non-native speaker who has studied English in a formal setting.  I have a couple of Japanese friends who have MBAs and although they are both fluent in English, they occasionally rely on grammar and sentence structure and they believe they have got a sentence right because it follows all the rules, but in reality it just doesn’t sound like a native speaker or someone who is confident with English.

    

   The following sentence is famous in linguistics because it is absolutely correct grammatically but makes no sense in the ‘real world’.

    

   "Colourless green ideas sleep furiously"

    

   So, grammar is not the be all and end all.

    

   Get a competent native speaker to give you applications the once over – it can’t do any harm.

7. Try Plain English
   Hi Tavisa

   I agree with Jane – I used to be a TEFL teacher and a lot of the textbooks were out of date in their use of formal English.

   For business I recommend you use Plain English, which is easily understood by most people. It has replaced formal English in a growing number of organisations around the world, particularly in the financial services sector. The Plain English campaign website has loads of free guides and resources to help you.

   http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/

   Jakki

8. Write more as you would speak

    I agree with the points that others have made here. There is nothing grammatically wrong with the sentence ‘I will be glad to wait upon you and hope you think this application worthy of notice’. It just sounds rather old-fashioned and formal. 

   You will sound more confident and assertive if you say something like ‘I hope that you are interested in my application and look forward to hearing from you soon’.

   The rule is to try to write more as you would speak – that’s plain English. But it takes a bit of practice if English is not your first language!