A recent experience prompts me to wonder whether we have a say in the way our customers treat us...

Every occupation is different and each has its own challenges but I’ve been talking recently to some friends who are actors and I’m convinced that acting and facilitating have a lot in common.  Both occupations require that you play a role; I know that when I’m working with a group I’m playing a slightly exaggerated version of me.  People who’ve met me before they see me facilitate say they’re often surprised by the difference although I don’t know why: someone who behaved in meetings the way they did when facilitating a group would soon become quite tiresome.

Another thing that acting and facilitating have in common is that you’re not allowed to have an “off” day.  When I worked in an office, if I came in tired one morning, it was fine to bury myself in work and slowly grind through it without saying much to anyone.  If I felt fed up one day, then it didn’t really have any impact on the paperwork I was doing. I could easily do paperwork and be grumpy at the same time.  When you’re acting or facilitating, you can’t do that - I can remember times when I’ve been almost heartbroken but have had to suck it up and pretend that everything’s okay. The group never knows about it because I’ve not told them.  

The other way in which the two occupations are similar is that you’re not often allowed to show your own feelings.  This came home to me a while back, when I was working with a client.  First they requested a phone conference before the workshop; they rearranged the call several times (always at the last minute) and then, when it happened, denied that they’d requested it in the first place.  They asked for an 8:15 am start and said there would be someone at the office to let me in at 7.00 am.  Nobody arrived until after 7:30 and we didn’t start, at their request, until 8:35.  Ten minute breaks became twenty minute breaks; lunch - which they had specifically requested as an hour, became an hour and fifteen minutes and even then I had to start with only half the delegates in the room.  In fact, all the delegates were in the room at the same time for less than half the day.  Individually, most of the delegates were lovely but as a group... all I can say is I don’t think I’ve felt more disrespected and I felt quite angry - none of which did I, or even could I, show.

Or could I?  After all, I wasn’t there because I was lonely - I was there to do a job (which they had asked me to do) and they were, I felt, making it as hard as possible for me to do that job.  I felt that, as I had limited time and  a lot of material to cover, and because they were the customer, I had no option but to accept their treatment.  Now I look back, though, I wonder if I should have acted differently; could I have stepped out of role and told them the impression their behaviour was having on me.  Would that have been better? What would you have done?