Ever been at Waterloo station at rush hour waiting for a delayed train? Have you noticed how most people around you will be displaying various types of emotion from exasperation to extreme anger? And if not that, they’ll definitely be busy distracting themselves on tablets and smart phones. The dominant feeling though, might be described as one of entitlement as in “we are entitled to have trains that run on time”. This sense of entitlement extends to most things in our lives, if you think about it, and – fundamentally – it definitely applies to how we feel about success and happiness. That these should be ours, because….. and you can complete the sentence any number of ways depending on how you define success and happiness. 
Yet, more and more of us are experiencing financial hardship and squeezes, fears and uncertainty about our work and purpose. Those of us who may have lost jobs, houses, relationships and pensions may well feel entitled to have support. What does this have to do with training, I hear you ask? Well, these are things that apply to us as people but also to those who end up in our training room. We all feel we deserve. The minute you feel that, though, you are going to get angry when things don’t work out. And that anger can be about not being able to afford a holiday this year to getting stuck in rush hour to spilling coffee on a new white shirt. In fact, if you look for them, every day will bring you these sorts of opportunities to feel angry!
Unless you are a child, you don’t deserve to be happy and no one deserves to be successful! Happiness and success are things that you go out and grab and make your own. There aren’t any shortcuts. You have to put in the work. And when you fail or experience rejection (which you will), you have to get right back out there. You also have to be the kind of person who can build the relationships that are essential when you’re in a bind and you need help. This will help you to build resilience.
Many people believe that optimism is something that you either have or you don’t. This is not about positive thinking though! It’s about realistic optimism: having your own personal immune system. It doesn’t mean putting on a happy face, no matter the circumstance or banishing negative thoughts, just in case they lead to negative outcomes. Real optimism motivates you to take control of your life and your responses rather than being swayed by every change you experience. If you can be proactive, resourceful and responsive in your own life, you are far more likely to move ahead in your career, reach a personal goal or achievement that is important to you. You’re very likely, anyway, to have to reinvent yourself a number of times throughout your life. Only you can create the kind of life you really want and be responsible for your own response to events and circumstances around you. And, ultimately, for being happy.
To read more about how each of us can develop our innate skills of resilience, optimism, being proactive and more get The Advantage, available now on Amazon and all major bookstores.
www.the-advantage.info
And if you're a trainer, delivering soft skills get free support membership at www.unimenta.com
