There is no fool-proof way to make sure you succeed in everything you do. If you are a poker player, you will know that no matter how good the cards are; or how well you play them; there is always a chance that you will be “drawing dead”. For those of you who don’t play poker, the term “drawing dead” basically means you are holding a losing hand, but you don’t know it.
Although I’ve been successful on many occasions in my life, I’ve equally often been “drawing dead” on many occasions too. The whole point is that we can intend many outcomes, but more often than not, we simply don’t know how things are going to pan out.
The problem is our conscious minds are, at this stage in our evolution, pretty limited. Scientist Dr Bruce Lipton asserts that 95% of our mind is unconscious and it is this part of the mind which is largely in control. This explains why for example, we might intend to lose those extra pounds or save for that vacation, but no matter what our intention, we carry on with old habits and no change is made.
It can feel pretty scary to think we actually aren’t aware of what controls us. Although if you are prepared to learn and become self-aware it can actually be powerful, because all you have to do in theory is to become aware of those unconscious beliefs and recordings which are driving you and you can make those changes.
Sounds easy? Of course sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. What you have to do to tap into the unconscious mind is to ask the right questions and then be prepared to listen for the answer. In the meantime though we have to make decisions, take action and deal with life.
There are always going to be times when the cards don’t fall your way and things don’t happen the way you want them. There are times when the cards are all lined up and you win that particular hand. What I have learned over the years is a number of strategies which help me make the most of the hand I’ve been dealt and then play them in a winning way.
1. Be clear about the outcome you want and go for it
Having clear outcomes helps you feel purposeful and motivated. Outcomes don’t have to be mind-blowing, life-changing or long-term. Outcomes can range from, envisaging a peaceful loving meal with the family, or becoming a millionaire. The scope and timing doesn’t matter, what matters is you programme your mind to work towards something you want.
2. Let go of the outcome
Conversely you then need to let go of the outcome. Desperately wanting something to happen simply creates a negativity which just keeps your desires away from you. Also the reason things don’t work out could be for a number of reasons. For example if the peaceful loving meal erupts into world war three, then you might have to learn acceptance or how to help others navigate their own emotions.
3. Develop strategies and stick to them
If you intend to have a loving peaceful meal with the family, but you know there is a risk that tempers may flare, or somehow conflict might arise, then if you have a strategy to help you deal with that possibility then you will not get exasperated, or frustrated or angry when your desired outcome isn’t being realised. You will find a way to navigate your way through. When I gave up smoking, I developed a strategy to avoid those situations when I knew my craving would be worst. I stuck with the strategy and eventually, I kicked the habit for good. It’s the same with some of your bigger outcomes. Develop strategies designed to achieve your outcome, which will help you deal with disappointment, cover risks and change course when it’s right to do so.
4. Face your worst fears
If you don’t face your worst fears, they will drive you. If you fear you might not achieve your outcome for some reason, then you need to root that fear out and deal with it. If you fear a different outcome, for example your partner might leave you, or you might end up broke, face it. It is only when you repress and stifle fears that your subconscious mind stores them up to trip you up!
5. Have a Plan B
Following on from facing your fears, is to have a “Plan B”. What are you going to do if the worst happens? If you don’t think you are going to be able to bear it, where will you get support? What will you do to get yourself back on track? What happens if your business folds, your job ends, you go broke? How can you put a contingency in place to deal with or help mitigate you realising your worst fears. Once you have done this and feel at peace with your contingency, then forget about it and focus on what you do want!
6. Be your own best friend
We can be our own worst critics. To increase your chances of success, you need to choose to be your own best friend, your own cheerleader and your soft place to fall. Being your best friend doesn’t mean you don’t let others in your life to be there for you, but given you know yourself best, it’s good to know you are on your own side!
7. Celebrate successes
Successes come in many forms and realising your desires is only one way you can feel successful. Some of my most successful outcomes came from adversity. Finding emotional resilience and better ways to deal with life, is actually a great success can often only be achieved through not getting what you want sometimes.
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