As a bit of background, Simon is a successful advertising executive, who has been in a coaching relationship for several years. As a result he has made various changes to himself and resolved some outstanding relationships and attitudes. Until this session all seemed to have been going really well.

Coach: "Simon, last time we met, you were going to have a Fierce Conversation* with Catherine – tell me how that went."

Simon: "It went well and Catherine is now going to address all the elements of time-keeping and lack of focus that we talked about. However, I've got something that I need to talk about today."

A perfect time for the coach to use the power of silence and just wait.

Simon: "Well, I'm not sure how to put this. You remember that I talked about going away on that sailing weekend with my friends? It was great, but...”

More power of silence, although this time it lasted a lot longer than normal. The coach is in a dilemma here as to whether an intervention at this time is right. Finally, the intervention is made.

Coach: "But what, Simon?”

Simon: "But...perhaps I don't want to talk about it after all, let's go back and follow up on the key goals I set myself for the next six months.”

For the purpose of the point we are making in this conundrum, we're going to skip 30 minutes whilst the coach goes along with Simon in his goals accountability, whilst waiting for the appropriate moment to follow up on the weekend with his friends. We pick up the conversation again, 30 minutes later.

Simon: "...so yes, I've undertaken to take those steps I'd committed to previously to improve my time management.”

Coach: "Good, so what else? Tell me about your sailing weekend."

Simon: "Ah, yes."

Another long pause while the coach keeps quiet and allows Simon to ruminate.

Simon: "Well I'm not sure if I should talk to you about this, but I know this is confidential so here goes: at the weekend, we got into challenging each other to do more and more difficult things, and as usual, it got a bit silly. I accepted the challenge to steal a GPS navigation system from the chandlers we were in at the time. What got into me, I don't know, but the next thing I knew we were back on the boat and out to sea with this thing sitting on the table. All the others thought it was very amusing and were congratulating me on my prowess and effectiveness as a thief. I was having serious second thoughts and wanted to take it back, but they were having nothing of it. We were halfway back and it was some time since I had taken it so would have been even more difficult even if I had the chance to do so. This was totally out of character and I feel terrible that I've done it. Ican't sleep."

The coach is now in a serious dilemma, stuck between the confidence of his client and his duty as a citizen to report crime. He also knows that Simon's career will be destroyed by this, if it becomes public.

Simon continues: "I've left it in the boat and I don't care or know what will become of it, but I have a real fear that it will come back to me when my mates are pulling another prank. I feel so dreadful and full of remorse, but I know that whatever happens, I have actually committed a crime.”

Coach: "Who have you told?"

Simon: "Nobody, but the others who were with me already know and who knows who they will tell. I can of course deny it; I do not think that those who were with me would actually report me and still less pursue it. They are, after all, good mates and have been for a long time.”

Coach: "What are you going to do about it; what have you done about it?"

Two questions in one! This is, however, a very difficult situation.

Simon: "Nothing."

Coach: "What should you do about it?"

Simon: "Well I should report myself to the police. However the thought of what may happen following that is just too difficult to comprehend. I see my whole life collapsing around me; family, job, and wife – oh this is too ghastly."

Coach: "What are you going to do about it?"

Simon: "Nothing and hope it goes away. Unless the people who were with me report me than it may all pass – oh I wish I had bought it away from the boat and thrown it away. I have a terrible feeling that it will be mounted on the boat, staring at me when I next go away on a sailing weekend; perhaps I will see if I can pop down and remove it quietly, then it will be forgotten about.”

Here we will leave the conversation, because this is a conundrum that we all hope we shall not have to face at any time during our career and because it can have no satisfactory outcome. At least the coach has remained non-judgemental; at least the coach has listened without interrupting; at least the coach has not, at this stage, committed any additional crime either by not reporting a crime or by becoming complicit in the wrongdoings.

Integrity is severely tested. Should the coach be loyal to his client, or do his civic duty? Should he be persuading Simon to report himself, or should he be going along with Simon to save his career and life – an area that they have been working on to improve for the last two years. What about the reputation of the coach if anybody should find this out? Lots and lots of questions with no answers.

Indeed, you may have been there yourself – what did you do?

So this month, finish the story by adding your comment as to what you think the coach should do in this case. We can then complete this conundrum next month based on your feedback and use it as a useful development exercise for all of us. Thanks in advance for your contributions.