Paul Z Jackson and Janine Waldman advise on how to deal with a client that wants to keep returning for sessions.
Perhaps our primary responsibility as coaches is to support our clients. Sometimes this is for a period agreed in advance; sometimes it is for however long it takes to deal with a certain issue or transition, such as promotion or stepping into a new role. Whilst it might be good for business for us to keep our clients for a long time, we also want our clients to be able to continue without our support. There are times when we are pretty certain as coaches that our work is done, yet clients insist that they still need us. So what do you do when the client keeps coming back?
Coach: So we agree that you have made good progress; do you think we need to book another session?
Lesley: Yes, I’m not sure what we’ll talk about, but I think it would be useful.
The coach may be tempted to assert his/her will and risk contradicting and upsetting the client.
Coach: I’m not sure about that; you’ve made really good progress and I don’t think that continuing to work together will be that beneficial for you. How about we stop for now?
Lesley: Are you saying that you don’t want to work with me any more - have I done something wrong?
A more solutions-focused way is to continue the conversation by checking on how we will know that the coaching should be over.
Coach: So we agree that you have made good progress; do you think we need to book another session?
Lesley: Yes, I’m not sure what we’ll talk about, but I think it would be useful.
Coach: OK, so tell me how will you know that it is time for us to stop working together – what will you be noticing that will tell you we’re done?
Lesley: Well, I’ll be able to chair my team meetings in a calm manner – I know the last one was pretty good, but I’m still concerned about the next one.
Coach: So if the next one goes to your satisfaction and we can discuss how you were able to maintain your level of good performance in chairing these meetings, our work would be done?
Lesley: I guess so.
In this instance, the coach has asked: "What will you be noticing that will tell you we're done?" after a number of coaching sessions. We'd suggest that this is a question that is also well worth asking during a first session. It then lays the foundations for the client noticing when they have achieved what they wanted. It also establishes content for the discussion at a later date about when to stop working together.
This is a pragmatic and minimal approach which unearths what a client wants, what resources they have available and then encourages them to take small steps in the desired direction. Of course, we can't say for sure which approach or particular choice would be best in any given conundrum but we hope the advice offered will help coaches think about how they would respond in a similar situation. We also hope that this will stimulate debate amongst the coaching community, so if you want to suggest a different way of handling the given challenge, please add your comments.
What would you do when a client keeps coming back? Would you choose one of the options above? Or perhaps you have another tack you'd take. We'd be interested to hear your thoughts, so please let us know.
Paul Z Jackson and Janine Waldman form The Solutions Focus. For more information call Janine on 01727 840 340 or email [email protected].
