Are you faced with unenthusiastic young trainees? Is your coaching and training getting a decidedly lukewarm response? Are you starting to question whether you are in fact losing your touch? Olivia Stefanino faces the challenge of working with Generation Y.

Nursing a chilled glass of blush wine each, the conversation soon turned to our passion – coaching and training. And yet as I studied my companion’s face as he was talking, I realised he was troubled.

But little did I know that his anxieties were to provide me with some relief from my own. For although we hadn't realised it, we'd both found ourselves encountering the same problem and had begun to beat ourselves up about it rather than investigate the issue more deeply.

While we relish our work in leadership, personal development and coaching, we'd both – more or less at the same time – begun to find that, rather than the enthusiastic response we'd come to expect from our audiences, they were instead becoming increasingly lukewarm.

"Giving into temptation for a few minutes, we complained about the seeming lack of drive of Generation Y, coupled with their apparent boredom, lack of respect and their general self-centredness."

Our immediate reaction had been to question whether we were 'losing our touch' or wondering whether perhaps we'd simply gone past our 'sell by date'. What we'd also been finding is that there seemed to be no 'energy' in the room: invitations to provide responses to thought-provoking questions were met simply with an uninterested shrug.

"It's as if there's no desire to think, to explore or want anything except for the answers to be provided," remarked my drinking buddy. And I had to agree with him.

As we chatted, my mind started wandering back to the piece I'd written recently for TrainingZone.co.uk, asking whether we were in danger as an industry of falling into a McCoaching approach. I'd been moved to write the article after I'd recently been turned down for a coaching project because the company was concerned that their staff wouldn't be able to cope with anything more than half-hour coaching sessions.

At the time I'd been horrified – but now as I reflected on the conversation again, I began to recall the head of HR telling me that the greatest problem their senior management faced was motivating the youngsters who were coming into the company.

As I regaled the story out loud, my companion simply replied: "Generation Y".

My companion had hit the nail on the head. When I stopped to think about it, this was precisely the group with whom I was having difficulty connecting. Giving into temptation for a few minutes, we complained about the seeming lack of drive of Generation Y, coupled with their apparent boredom, lack of respect and their general self-centredness.

Of course, it wasn't long before it also began to dawn on us that previous generations always have something negative to say about the upcoming one and that perhaps we were being forced to admit that we were now no longer in the 'younger generation' ourselves.

And then we decided that it would be more helpful all round if we were to take a more positive approach – after all, whether we like it or not, these people from Generation Y would be the leaders of tomorrow, so it would be more constructive for us to find a way to 'connect' rather than criticise.

Unsurprisingly, we didn't come up with all the answers – instead, we're now in research mode and are hoping to glean some wisdom and advice from others who are facing the same challenge.

An initial trawl of the internet led to me to an article in The Times which said that many pejorative comments are made about Generation Y. "They are accused of being divas at work who expect everything to fall into their laps," said the article. "However, supporters of this generation – born in or after 1980 – counter that its members are independent, innovative and creative and ready to engage in companies that are prepared to offer the environments in which they thrive."

Not only are those born within Generation Y our responsibility, but to some degree, they're also the product of our parenting and our educational systems. We've shaped them! So it hardly seems fair to blame them. As parents many of us have fallen into the trap of wanting to give 'everything to our children that we never had'. It may be an evolutionary response but with our greater spending capacity comes the need for greater responsibility. After all, when we hand out everything on a plate, we're preventing the recipient from having to rely on their own resources – and because of that we're disempowering them.

With so much materialism in recent years – the current credit crunch notwithstanding – it's no wonder that our offspring believe that everything should fall into their laps. And worse, if we explore a little deeper, we'll see that much of the materialism arises as a replacement for love. While there's nothing new in divorcing parents trying to 'buy' forgiveness and love from their children, greater spending power means that these children grow up believing that to get what they want, all they have to do is treat their parents to some bolshy behaviour. After all, from the parents' perspective, at least it buys some peace and quiet. But what it teaches our children is that people can't be trusted and as a result they begin to lean on material goodies for emotional security.

A degree of adversity in life also provides the grain of sand that creates the pearl. For example, I'm a mentor with The Prince's Trust and the young man I'm working with may have had a troubled past, but he's an inspiration when it comes to a broad-minded 'let's benefit the world' approach. It's a privilege and honour working with him.

Life – and indeed business - as we know it relies on relationships. People lead people, not things. Tomorrow's leaders need to learn about the power of relationships (both those they have with themselves and those they have with others) if they're to both survive and thrive in the future.

If we're to help them (rather than berate them) then it's up to us to find the way to connect with them. After all, if we're largely responsible for the creation of Generation Y, then we also must carry some responsibility for their future too.

Any ideas anyone?

Olivia Stefanino is the author of 'Be Your Own Guru' and has run leadership and coaching programmes within both blue chip organisations and SME’s over the last ten years. To download her free tips booklet '127 ways to harness your personal power' visit www.beyourownguru.com

The views expressed in the Opinion column are those of the author and not of TrainingZone.co.uk</em