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The Speeding Ticket


On our ManageTrainLearn courses in Presentation Skills, we always have a session on anecdotes or funny stories. Understandably, it is often the highlight of the course, as trainees research, choose and then tell a tale that fits in with their theme.

As a result of this session, we usually come up with a list of what a great presentational story should be like. This runs something like this...

1. it should be told as a narrative with dialogue and description
2. it should contain some drama and suspense
3. it should build and build
4. it should have a great punchline
5. it should have a moral with a universal message.

Well, this week, I heard a story from Paul Matthews that meets all of these requirements. Plus, it also made me chuckle out loud. See what you think. It's called "The Speeding Ticket".

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the driver’s door.
‘Is there a problem officer?’
‘Yes sir you were speeding. Can I see your licence, please?’
The driver responds, ‘I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.’
‘You don’t have one?’
The man responds, ‘I lost it four times for drink driving.’
The policeman is shocked. ‘I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?’
‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that.’
The policeman says, ‘Why not?’
‘I stole this car.’
The officer says, ‘Stole it?’
The man says, ‘Yes and I killed the owner.’

At this point the officer is beginning to panic. ‘You what!?!’
‘She’s in the boot if you want to see.’
The officer realises he is dealing with a dangerous man and slowly backs away. He calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars show up, sirens everywhere, whirling lights...
The captain slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun. The captain says, ‘Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!’
The man steps out of his vehicle. ‘Is there a problem, officer?’
‘One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.’
‘Murdered the owner?’
The captain responds, ‘Yes, could you open the boot of your car, please?’
The man opens the boot. It is empty.
The captain says, ‘Is this your car, sir?’
The man says ‘Yes’ and hands over the registration papers.
The senior officer, understandably, is quite stunned. ‘One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.’
The man digs in his pocket, revealing a wallet, and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.
‘Thank you sir. One of my officers told me you didn’t have a licence, stole this car and murdered the owner.’
The man replies, ‘I bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!’

For pure creativity, quick-thinking, and inventiveness, - all necessary management skills these days, - I hope the guy got off!


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