There can be a certain amount of tension as a trainer. By this I don’t mean the tension you feel 20 minutes before a training event – I mean the tension between the values you espouse and the values you actually demonstrate.

Let me explain with an example; I remember many years ago as a young,
totally-principled trainer working through a ‘real play’ situation.

This was generally a very successful exercise at the end of a week long course as people had gained trust, confidence and were usually very open. On this occasion someone was going through a particularly difficult situation in the workplace. Let’s call him Rob. Rob felt that his manager wasn’t encouraging him. More than that Rob sensed that he didn’t have the respect of the manager and he was becoming more and more disillusioned with work.

We worked through some scenarios where I or others in the group would be the manager and he would try some strategies. Others in the group would give feedback, suggestions, etc. The advice to Rob was very constructive but every approach people suggested he had tried and the manager just wouldn’t change his ways.

After a fair amount of discussion I spelt out in typically trainer terms the options – amongst which, as I remember was, “If you don’t like the situation you should leave the environment,” that is leave. Rob was stunned. I was stunned that he was stunned. “Well if all else fails the only option would be to leave.” I announced cheerfully.

I remember feeling pretty confident that I had given him some sensible advice at the time, and felt quite pleased with myself.

I wonder if I would be so sure of myself today.

As I become older I see more dangers, more potential problems in these situations. There seems to be a hundred and one factors to take into consideration. In the training room we frequently take a black and white view of things – we have to in order to make points. If we had to describe all the aspects that could affect any decision I doubt we would ever get to the end of a session.

Sometimes we have to sell the company policy – whether it’s the latest Performance Management System, the latest personnel advice on dealing with sickness absence, or whatever. Must we believe it? For instance if you had to tell people that the system had changed and from now on all sick leave wouldn’t be paid for by the organisation, but would need to come out of the employees’ pocket.

Then if someone asked what you thought about it what would you say? Would you toe the party line and say why you thought it would be the most effective way of addressing that particular financial problem? Or would you tell the truth the way you see it and say it was the worse decision the organisation had ever made and you didn’t agree with it at all. Or, perhaps even worse, would you describe the policy but make it clear by your tone of voice, body language, looks to the heavens that you thought it was the worse decision management had ever made?

I’m sure xxx years ago I would have been advocating: “If you don’t like the situation you should leave the environment.” Nowadays … I’ve got to eat. I’ve got a mortgage. Does this mean I’ve lost my principles? Or can I pretend I’m ‘working from within’ to change the system.

If you ask any trainer – especially a trainer working in a large organisation – do they agree with everything they say – many would say, “Of course not – but I get paid at the end of the month so I say it.”

So where do you draw the line?

(Oh in case you’re wondering Rob took no notice of my advice and has been promoted at least twice since.)