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Building Positive Relationships


We need to work at building positive relationships; it’s not always easy. The following top tips will help you to improve difficult relationships and ensure effective ones continue to be successful.

1.Behaviour is only what we see and hear on the surface. Many things such as our beliefs, feelings and experiences drive our behaviour. If one person seems to be behaving “badly” consider what might be causing them to behave in that way. What is affecting your behaviour?

2.Our visual communication has a big impact on how we are perceived. Use your non-verbal communication skills to help build rapport with the other person for example by carefully mirroring their body language.

3.According to Bruce Tuckman every team evolves through different stages and each stage will bring different behaviours. If you’re trying to build relationships in your team consider what stage they are at. Are they forming, storming, norming or performing?

4.Always choose assertive behaviour, it is much more likely to help you to achieve an open, honest and effective relationship.

5.Use your emotional intelligence to recognise how a person is feeling and try to empathise with them.

6.Give feedback carefully – help the other person to recognise the effect their behaviour is having on your relationship.

7.Ask for feedback – what does the other person think of your behaviour?

8.According to Transactional Analysis theory we communicate from 1 of 3 ego states at any one time: Adult, Parent and Child. Which ego state do you favour and is that complimentary to the ego state the other person is communicating from?

A training course is always a good way to improve your skills and enable you to build more positive relationships.

One Response

  1. Mirroring Body Language

    This is a nice little article, but point number 2 makes me a little nervous, or rather would if the other person is feeling that way. Mirroring body language is a good idea when you have a confident, open conversation partner, but if the person is insecure or even just worried about what they are saying mirroring the body language may be the worst thing you can do in developing a secure relationship.

    I think having body language that says you are open, listening, and confident is much more important than being a mirror to what may be someone else’s insecurities.

    Thanks for the article,


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