From British anti-nudes to swapping wives for donkeys, it’s been another wonderful week. Join us as we look back over the best stories from the past five days.
Triumph:
Tony Blair has admitted that he “struggle[s] to do more than switch on a computer”, the Metro newspaper reports. This is an excellent opportunity for us as we can say whatever we like about the prime minister – after all, it’s not like he’ll manage to access the site.
It seems we don’t like to see each other naked, as a cruise company has prepared two separate brochures for the German and British markets to protect our modesty. Cruise equipment provider Ocean Village has drawn little black pants and bras onto its nude models. If only Adam and Eve had shared this wisdom.
Larry Porte, a former Secret Service agent and the Manager of the Threat Response and Asset Protection Division of investigative organisation Kerby Bailey and Associates, says that workplace violence is a process that does not occur in a vacuum. Apparently the conditions required for it to occur cannot interact in this void. Anti-violence protestors are overjoyed at this very useful news.
Trauma:
A school textbook in India has suggested that donkeys make better companions than wives because they complain less and are more loyal. The Hindi-language primer aimed at 14 year olds could spark a spate of grievance procedures in the country. The donkey was not available for comment.
Two thirds of workers have taken sick days in the past month because of dirty desks. Computer cleaning company Durable found that hygiene in the workplace is so bad that germs and bacteria contribute to the £11.75bn annual sickness bill.
Do you have any traumatic or triumphant stories? Post your comments below.
