Have you ever looked at a job advert and wondered what the company is really trying to say? The following guide may prove to be useful in sifting out your next job!
"Competitive Salary:"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"Join Our Fast-Paced Company:"
We have no time to train you; you’ll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
"Seeking Enthusiastic, Fun, Hard Working, People:"
...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.
"Casual Work Atmosphere:"
We don't pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"Join Our Dynamic Team:"
We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
"A Drug-Free Work Environment:"
We booze it up at company parties.
"Must Be Deadline Oriented:"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"Some Overtime Required:"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"Duties Will Vary:"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Must Have An Eye For Detail:"
We have no quality control.
"College Degree Preferred:"
Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English or religion.
"Career-Minded:"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"Apply In Person:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"No Phone Calls Please:"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety Of Experience:"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"Problem-Solving Skills A Must:"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"Requires Team Leadership Skills:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"Good Communication Skills:"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and then do it.
