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What the job adverts really mean!


Have you ever looked at a job advert and wondered what the company is really trying to say? The following guide may prove to be useful in sifting out your next job!

"Competitive Salary:"

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"Join Our Fast-Paced Company:"

We have no time to train you; you’ll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.

"Seeking Enthusiastic, Fun, Hard Working, People:"

...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.

"Casual Work Atmosphere:"

We don't pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"Join Our Dynamic Team:"

We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.

"A Drug-Free Work Environment:"

We booze it up at company parties.

"Must Be Deadline Oriented:"

You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"Some Overtime Required:"

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"Duties Will Vary:"

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must Have An Eye For Detail:"

We have no quality control.

"College Degree Preferred:"

Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English or religion.


Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"Apply In Person:"

If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"No Phone Calls Please:"

We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety Of Experience:"

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"Problem-Solving Skills A Must:"

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"Requires Team Leadership Skills:"

You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"Good Communication Skills:"

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and then do it.


Now get back to reality and check our latest vacancies


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