Some years ago, I delivered a talk titled “The ten laws of coaching.” And I tripped over the slide deck the other day while I was looking for something else.
Like many things in the world of learning and development, some of the ideas had aged well, while others seem worth re-examining. This article takes a fresh look at those ten principles, expanding on each in turn from the perspective of leaders who use coaching to support performance, culture, and personal growth.
1. If you treat people as small, small is where they will stay
This still rings true. When leaders focus only on shortfalls or assume low capability, they subtly limit what people believe they are capable of. A coaching approach assumes potential, even when performance is patchy. Treat someone as if they can grow and, more often than not, they’ll rise to meet that belief.
Choose to believe in their potential. Your mindset sets the tone for the conversation.
2. We need performance, learning and enjoyment – but we must keep them in balance
I first came across this idea in W. Timothy Gallwey’s ‘The Inner Game of Work’ and it’s even more relevant now. Most leadership conversations revolve around performance, but when learning and enjoyment are neglected, we risk burnout or disengagement. Enjoyment doesn’t mean everything has to be fun, it might mean feeling challenged, fulfilled, or purposeful.
Leaders who coach can help people rebalance when they’re running on empty or stuck in routines that no longer serve.
3. The higher the need for performance, the higher the need for learning and enjoyment
This principle has proven itself again and again. In high-pressure environments, it’s tempting to double-down on delivery, but that’s when people most need development and connection.
A coaching-style leader recognises that the more we ask from people, the more we must invest in their capacity to grow and stay engaged.
4. Learning is easier than being taught
Still true, and visible every day in the workplace. People absorb lessons far more effectively when they discover something for themselves than when they’re told what to do.
Coaching supports this by encouraging reflection, problem-solving and experimentation. It helps employees build ownership, rather than dependency.
5. Your team view you as their coach, whether you like it or not
This one benefits from a slight reframe. Not every team member wants coaching from their manager. And not every manager should be their team’s coach in the formal sense.
But your influence is constant. The way you give feedback, the questions you ask, the behaviours you reinforce, all shape learning. You’re always coaching someone, whether you mean to or not.
6. There is no responsibility without choice, but there is no choice without involvement
This still feels right to me. If you want people to take responsibility, you must involve them meaningfully in decisions and plans. Coaching creates that involvement by inviting ideas, encouraging participation, and giving people a voice.
It’s about creating real choice so that people can take real ownership.
7. The success of your coaching is proportional to the level of trust you can establish
In my experience, trust is the single biggest factor in how effective a coaching-style leader can be. When people trust your intent, they open up. When they don’t, they shut down or say what they think you want to hear.
In practical terms, trust means consistency, fairness, and respecting boundaries. It’s also about confidentiality; coaching can’t thrive in a culture of gossip or gotchas.
8. Curiosity is more useful than judgement
This might be the most enduring of all ten laws. Leaders who default to judgement tend to close down thinking. Those who default to curiosity open it up.
When something goes wrong, replace “Why did you do that?” with “What was going on for you there?” Coaching doesn’t mean avoiding accountability; it means exploring the whole picture so that next time, things improve.
9. Coaching should be driven by demand, not supply
This is a helpful warning against pushing coaching onto people. You can’t coach someone effectively unless they want to engage. Coaching works best when there’s a real need or desire on the other side.
In leadership, that might mean spotting the moment when someone is open or asking permission before offering support. And for internal coaching programmes, it means creating pull, not push.
10. As a coach you’ll need to listen, ask questions and think – but you cannot do all three effectively at the same time
This one still makes me smile because it’s so accurate. In the rush to say something useful, we often stop listening properly. And when we’re formulating our next question, we miss the moment.
It’s a simple but powerful reminder: slow down. Let the silence do some work. You don’t need to have the next question ready the second they stop speaking.
The 10 laws of coaching – revisited
Most of these ‘laws’ still make sense. The context may have shifted, particularly for managers using coaching as part of their leadership style, but the principles endure.
I don’t offer them as rules to follow rigidly; they’re prompts to stay grounded in trust, belief, choice, and presence.
Leadership is full of distractions and pressures, but coaching, done well, remains your best tool to bring out the best in others.
And if you forget all the laws? Just remember this: your job isn’t to sound like a coach. It’s to be helpful in a way that builds ownership, confidence, and capability.
That’s what coaching always was. And still is.
Your next read: Active listening in coaching: A leadership essential
