Often when we talk about wellbeing in the workplace, we talk about mental health and the causes of ill mental health such as anxiety, stress, fear, overwhelm and depression. What if we instead talked about all the factors that contribute to good mental health – that state of being where we feel fundamentally okay in body, mind and heart.

Safety, dignity and belonging in the workplace inevitably lead to inclusivity, connection, trust and wellbeing. Let’s start by looking at what they mean:

Safety arises when we feel we can speak up without risk of judgment, exclusion or humiliation. 

Dignity is our inherent sense of worthiness, basic goodness, respect and authenticity. It’s clarity of who we really are. See my tips on leading ethically here.

Belonging is our sense of being fundamentally okay and connected to others, for example to our team at work, community, social group or family. Belonging is not the same as fitting in.

Hyperarousal, hypoarousal and the window of tolerance

There is a razor’s edge in creating safety, dignity and belonging in the workplace and other collective contexts. This is because we have a profound effect on each other, negatively and positively.

We cannot expect individuals – leaders, managers and employees – to deal with situations on their own that are caused by collective dynamics. This is, however, what often happens and it can take people out of their window of tolerance and trigger people into hyper-arousal (fight or flight) or into hypo-arousal (freeze mode). 

The window of tolerance is a concept originally developed by Dan Siegel, psychologist and director of the Mindsight Institute in the US. It describes the optimal zone of emotional arousal for a person to function in everyday life. When a person is operating within this zone or window, they can effectively manage and cope with their emotions. (Diagram by Richard Bamford)

When difficult situations stay unchecked, employees can withdraw, disengage and sometimes leave the organisation. They may feel unsafe, disrespected, outside their window of tolerance, unsupported, misunderstood and abandoned. They feel they don’t belong. 

Leaders and team leaders must be equipped to help staff build their resilience to deal with moments of discomfort: when their buttons are being pressed, when they disagree or are in conflict. We cannot avoid difficulty but we can learn how to deal with it together and hence widen the window of tolerance individually and collectively. 

Here are three core things that leaders can begin to do to increase safety, dignity and belonging in the workplace: 

1. Exploring the conditions that give rise to safety, dignity and belonging 

In your teams, including the leadership team, explore the following questions: 

• Recall a time when you felt safety, dignity and belonging in a situation outside work. 
• Recall a time when you felt safety, dignity and belonging in the workplace.
• What were the conditions in these situations that led to feeling safe, dignified and that you belonged?
• What did it feel like?
• What was happening?

2. Dealing with difficult situations together

As a leader or team leader slow down, take a pause and a few deeper breaths. Invite your team members to do the same. 

Allow experience, and emotions, to be what they are: anger, frustration, fear, upset, despair. Emotions are what make us human. The more we allow emotions to be felt individually and collectively, the more we can self-regulate and help each other stay regulated and within the window of tolerance. 

Ask: Where do you feel the emotion(s) in the body? Describe the physical sensations as best you can. For instance, you, as the team leader, could go first and say: ‘Right now, I’m feeling fearful and I feel tightness in my stomach and throat. 

Let go of control and allow everyone to be what they are. It may feel messy but that’s ok. This broadens the collective window of tolerance. Together you can talk and feel your way through the difficulty and come out the other end with more understanding for, and connection with, each other. 

Listen carefully to all parties involved and include everyone whether you like them or not, whether they are outspoken or quiet. 

3. Establishing team or organisational agreements

Develop team and organisational agreements that everyone feels comfortable with and supported by. 

Check in regularly with staff and teams on how you have been practising the agreements vs merely talking about them. A great question for reflection here is: which of the agreements do I find easy to do and which ones do I find difficult or avoid? This will help identify your trailing edge vs leading edge when practising the team or organisational agreements.

Here is a recommended set of agreements. You may want to use all of them or some and also come up with your own. It’s important to tailor the agreements to your work context. 

Care, Confidentiality, Consent

We care for the wellbeing of our team and organisation and trust among us. Anyone can ask for a pause at any time. We maintain confidentiality about what is shared in the group by others, unless granted consent otherwise. 

Using ‘I’ language

We attend to and speak about our own experiences and responses, using ‘I’ language as much as possible (vs ‘you’, ‘we’ or ‘them/they’). We take responsibility for what we think, say and do: I feel, I think, I do…

Intention & Impact

We explore the difference between intention and impact and develop a robust ethical practice that includes consideration of both dimensions. We practice curiosity about both. For example, as a team leader we can have the intention to run an inclusive team meeting, only to realise that some team members came away feeling excluded.

Both/And

When speaking, we can use ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ and notice the difference in our bodies, hearts and minds. This practice acknowledges and honours multiple realities. For example: one person may say: ‘I’d really like us to move on with the project and get it done.’ Another may say: ‘And I would like it if we gave this aspect of the project more time because….’

Move up / Move Back

We are aware of our team dynamic and encourage full participation by all present. This means bringing friendly attention to who is speaking and who is not.

Dwelling in Not-Knowing

Not-knowing can help us be open and receptive. We help each other spot forms of arrogance as they might arise and return to an attitude and mindset of humility and curiosity. As a team leader it’s hugely powerful to be able to say: ‘I don’t know the answer right now’, rather than pretending to know all the answers or needing to get it right.

Compassion and Courage

By practising compassion, kindness and courage, we hold each other in curious and kind accountability. This includes naming and working through challenges and difficulties that arise in the team as an opportunity for growth and development for all. 

Agreements versus rules

Agreements must be owned and agreed to by all, otherwise they are not agreements but rules. Rules imposed by one or a few do not lead to safety, dignity and belonging but to fear, anxiety, distrust and disengagement.

It’s well worth establishing a set of agreements for your team and/or organisation that everyone understands and wants to put into practice daily. The payoff is huge for the fundamental wellbeing of employees.